It’s flawless, really! I can’t help but think how much better it would be if she were not a child.Įmblem3 goes for Peter Frampton’s “Baby I Love Your Way,” but you already know it’s really more the Big Mountain version. She sings Elton John’s “Your Song,” replete with a grim-faced children’s choir whose lips don’t move. And there’s video of Carly performing as a toddler, which was probably shot on an iPhone. Diamond urges her to “do it for me.” She is the Goose to Carly’s Maverick. Backstage footage from last week shows her getting a pep talk from the recently eliminated Diamond White, who is her best friend all of a sudden, and we know this because she says “I am your best friend” 500 times.
Mario says to the behatted LA: “You look like somebody, and I’m-a tell you who it is when I think of it.” Well, great! I’m glad you brought that up.Īnd then it’s time for Carly Rose Sonenclar, who Britney introduces as “my little 13-year-old dita.” I hope she means diva, because if I wanted to watch a Dita von Teese burlesque thing from a child, I’m sorry to say I have literally dozens of other television options. If Simon had said that, Demi would immediately have him in a half-nelson, but when Britney voices an unpopular opinion, all anyone can do is grimace into the middle distance. It’s a smart move, though for a song about drinking beer by a fire, he is pushing it just a little too hard.īritney says it wasn’t his best (which is objectively wrong) and nobody can make eye contact with her. It makes you wonder what would happen if Adele’s next album were all about brunch items, or if the Avett Brothers recorded a song called “Wine and Prosciutto Tasting.” The song is up-tempo, it’s fun, it doesn’t mention his wife even once, it’s a whole new Tate! One can easily see him performing this song on any of the dozens of country awards shows that are sprinkled throughout the year. LA wears a cowboy hat, which everyone makes a huge deal out of because he is clearly African-American, and says “In support of my man Tate Stevens, please welcome to the stage Tate Stevens.” Okay! Tate sings “Bonfire,” one of those hundreds of country songs that people can listen to at parties because it’s about exactly what they’re doing right then. I’m going to have to reach back to some mid-career Olsen Twin red-carpet footage to find a less-convincing smile.Īnyway. While we’re on the hosts, let’s get this out of the way: Wow, does Mario give some expert dead-eye. How would you like to be told that leaning forward and sleepily drawling “ameezeen” is the thing you do best? As Khloe says: “The judges won’t vote on who to send home, but they will do what they do best: judge.” That’s gotta hurt. Tomorrow, we will go from four acts to three, and it will all be based on the votes. They begin by telling us how important this show is, and all I can think is “Can you imagine if that were true?” Honestly - what if we were in the U.K., where people talk and place bets and care about this, rather than in the U.S., where there are more reality singing competition shows than there are major airlines? Really, the main thing this show is missing is relevance, and if it would spend 90 percent less time telling us how relevant it is, it might accidentally gain some.
#FIFTH HARMONY SONG ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN FULL#
Two full hours of our lives will be spent this way tonight. It’s the semifinals! There are four acts left in the running for the $5 million prize! You would think that they could get this done in one hour and then show us a couple episodes of Ben & Kate or “Psy’s Down-Home Korean Khristmas” or something, but no.